“What is the single most important thing I can do to further my spiritual practice?” I asked. “Pay attention.” was his response. Huh. Not what I was expecting. Pay attention… Pay attention to what I began to wonder. He pushed the seed into the moist soil and gently covered it with care.
So how do I go about finding this true self? It is possible you could have a moment of direct insight into your true self where everything clicks into place and you no longer worry. Some people just wake up one day and are free from suffering. Sounds pretty nice, yes? For others it takes years or even lifetimes of work. To help ease your mind, where you find yourself NOW is EXACTLY where you are supposed to be. It is impossible for it to be otherwise. If you are reading these words, you are meant to be reading them.
YOU are not the character. YOU merely are. One way to arrive at this understanding is via negation. To determine who I am, I will first negate all I am not. Anything that can be conceived or perceived can simply NOT be you. Just as the tip of the finger cannot touch itself or the camera cannot see itself. YOU cannot experience who you really are as something you are not. It is logically impossible. If you can describe something with words it cannot be you. Just as words cannot fully capture the feeling of love, or the majesty of a beautiful sunset, or the excitement one feels for future possibilities. Words are limiting. YOU are limitless. Describing your true nature with words would be like trying to paint a beautiful and accurate landscape with just 8 crayons. It would be a poor representation of reality, yes? Now consider “you” only have 5 senses. Do you think 5 senses could capture your true essence? Not a chance…
If I ask who you are, you will probably tell me your name. But your name is clearly not you. If your parents had given you a different name, would you still be you? Yeah, yeah, you might be thinking, I don’t really care about the name, but I am pretty pretty sure I am this body, regardless of name. But I ask you, how are you so sure? Largely because you have thought you were the body your entire life 🙂
It is natural to identify with the body, because that is what we have been taught from the moment we were born. We were taught by our parents that we are the person, just as they were taught by their parents. Stop for a moment and consider that you might not be the person. Ummmmm, ok but if I’m not the person, who am I exactly? Who is this I? We’ll get there I promise. For now let’s just start the inquiry process and see where it takes us…
One way you can arrive “now” is through meditation. This can feel unpleasant or even impossible to those that spend most of their time in the past or future. To seemingly jam your mind into the present moment can feel unnatural at first. “I can’t sit still that long.” “It makes my back hurt.” “I have ADHD.” “I have an overwhelming urge to check my phone.” “Trying to meditate gives me anxiety.” “I don’t know how to do it.” All valid points, yet all just narratives we tell ourselves to avoid something that we probably don’t understand.
A common question about meditation is “what is the point?” What good will just sitting here do me? Wouldn’t I be better served doing something productive instead? Maybe. Or, maybe every time I meditate it gets easier and easier to be in the present moment. Maybe I’ll be able to stop worrying about all those things in the past that I cannot change. Maybe I’ll be blissfully happy and aware in the present moment, unconcerned with unlikely future events that previously stole my attention. Maybe I’ll realize that now is all we truly have and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. Maybe.
Before we get to this point however, meditation is a nice reminder of where we can find some peace. Sitting in the present moment and feeling the silence for even a second can get your foot in the door. Because once you get a taste of this true freedom and peace, you are going to want more of it, believe me. Fortunately it is free and in unlimited supply. You just need to know where to look for it…
YOU hear me [not a question]. You are already good enough. Good enough for what, you might be asking? Good enough to stop berating yourself about past mistakes. Good enough to stop worrying that you might fail in the future. Good enough to find some peace. Right. This. Very. Second. I’m talking pure, unadulterated, in your face, ABSOLUTE relief and BLISS. Right NOW. All you need to do, and it sounds way too simple to believe, is Be Here NOW (Thank you Ram Dass <3).
Fortunately, there are a few different ways to arrive at NOW and I’m going to tell you a few of them…
Feels Right Now 